Im not exactly sure how to start going about this, so ill just list the things i feel or think on most days:

-Worried about getting in trouble with every person for asking a simple question, which makes me not want to ask at all
-Constant fear that ive done something wrong and will be in trouble
-Strong, deep feelings of loneliness, emptiness, worthlessness
-feeling ignored by everyone, feeling like i am annoying and childish and no one takes me seriously, which causes more and more anxiety
-strange, obsessive fears, the most prominent one being standing too straight and snapping my knees backwards. These fears interfere with my jobs, which require me to stand. If not allowed to sit down, i get dangerously close to a panic attack.
-waves of deep depression to the point of planning suicide
-fear of speaking to others
-extreme nervousness when speaking to others
-very little sleep, constant exaustion
-very little hunger, as well as periods of vomiting until stomach is empty
-shaking hands, jumpy to loud noises
-quick to agitate, feeling rage building inside me but no way to get it out
-feeling everyone has something to hide from me
-intrusive thoughts about self harm

Those are all i can think of off the top of my head, and im not sure what it means, but these are things that affect me every day. Im particularly afraid about the uncontrollable fear of my legs snapping-- its getting worse and worse to the point where i had to stop working out of sheer fear, and i was so embarrassed that i started breaking down in front of everyone. Can anyone help me figure out what this all means?
 

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